June 29, 2015
An empty house echoes like the inside of a cave. Maybe the echoes rebounding off the walls are really memories bouncing around free to lift off as carbonation does when the cork is popped. Must be a lot of release 'cause they are blasting me in every room. All good mostly. 32 years in the same house: Kids 8 and 10 in 1983.
Dean developing career moves...retiring...battling his monster disease...and slipping on "home". Me building 3 very different careers, raising two kids, writing a book, and conquering widowhood.
My work here is done. I feel like Dean is saying, "Time to get out of Dodge. You're entourage of angels is ready to go sightseeing in Nashville!"
I have allowed all the feelings, emotions, and apprehensions to surface and hang on me for awhile before floating out of this house to be stored only God knows where. But they won't stay here, and most will not remain attached to me. I am definitely leaving the negatives behind to start fresh and clean.
A little note to those willing to move on in their lives...buy a token to commemorate moving on. When Dean passed, i took some of the residual funds that he left for me to live on until I coud get the finances in order AND I bought the diamond stud earrings that I always wanted him to buy me. I wore them everyday for the next 9 months. Yesterday, a quality jewelry store began a going out of business sale. I bought a very pretty garnet and diamond ring. It feels right on my finger. When I look at it, it reminds me that I am moving on. God is not done with me yet.
I frequently speak to various caregiver groups, and would love to see as many people as possible. Come share your stories with me and the rest of the group.
Helping us has been a comfort and a blessing for us!...